Sorry I’ve not posted, or really been active at all, I didn’t feel like it, it’s taken this long since mum died to even want to write, it was harder to put fingers to keyboard.
Under a read because it’s personal (and it’s fun to put under a read, I have to get my kicks somewhere).
At 12:00 GMT today my mother passed away, she went so peacefully one moment here the next gone.
I’m going to miss her so much
Rest in peace.
S xxx
Sorry I’ve not updated or anything but its been hard to balance life, mum, and work.
The call to come in happened again this morning, I’ve sort of been expecting it as mum has grown weaker and weaker. Yesterday she said she wanted to go home, but this morning she isn’t even awake.
She’s too far gone to go home.
We’re just waiting now.
Thank you all so much for every like, hug, and message of support. You have all helped me in this difficult time to keep going.
Hugs
Susan
X
AnonymousHi,
Huh it has been a while hasn’t it… I didn’t realize it’s been a month since we rushed in to see her, wow it feels like a lifetime ago.
Life has been up and down quite a lot, mum takes 2 steps forwards and 1 back, we’re just trying to stay sane and survive this, god I don’t know how people do this without knowing there’s a chance their loved one could come out of this alive the other side.
Some of our set backs are mum’s CO2 levels keep going up if she comes off the mask, but she’s started to accept that the mask does do something and has asked for the mask to go on again, the CO2 makes her sleepy. She can’t cough up the gunk in her lungs so that’s been hanging around for a month, though the physios have been working with her to clear little bits at a time, it’s better than it was. She has a stomach bug due to too many antibiotics and the bloody thing won’t go away, so she’s been in quarantine for over two weeks and I’m not allowed to stay over at weekends to give my stepdad Edward a break. Oh and to top that off she’s getting a chest infection due to gunk in lungs, so even more antibiotics are needed which will make stomach bug worse.
Urgh.
The positive notes are that mum’s still being feed, by the tube in her nose, and they’ve upped the amount she can have, they’ve added vitamins and minerals and (what for it) protein because that would be the hardest for her stomach to handle, which it is doing awesomely. When she if off the mask (only one hour twice a day) she can swallow water, talk (it must be killing her not to be able to talk), and do breathing exercise to cough gunk up and out of her lungs (she’s still too weak to do that properly but getting stronger). Also her arms and hands are steadier and stronger, she’s not strong enough to do a lot of things but the nurses/physios are getting her to help out when turning/changing her and they’re going to start on her legs and lower body soon.
All in all its still rubbish, all I’m doing is going to work (which is manic and we have way too many orders to deal with), going home and it was every other day I was going in the evenings to the hospital (120 mile round trip), I’m having to scale back as I can’t afford to fill the car up all the time and frankly I need more sleep.
Edward is tired but doing well. My brother Tom is in the middle of moving from the flat he shared with his girlfriend (they’ve broken up) and is moving into his new flat (he has to be out by march 8th), so fun all round there.
Yeah I’m kinda rambling, so I’ve not done a huge amount of writing, Seraphim-Grace checked a chapter or two of WD&N and gave me a kick telling me not to run myself into the ground. Give me a bit more time to catch up on sleep and stuff and I should be able to carry on. Plus my cousin, who I didn’t know was writing, has been talking to me and she’s read some of my original works and liked it, and I’ve liked hers so… Maybe, just maybe I might get around to finishing something I can get published.
Um, yeah I think that’s it on my life, oh and the two kittens (who are now three years old so not really kittens) aren’t being locked in the kitchen at night because I feel mean leaving them all day and they have taken to sneaking into my room and being little ninjas who sit on me and I wake up trying to work out what these heavy lumps are that are purring and well I may have screamed the first few times it happened… The kittens didn’t like that and fled, but I’m getting used to them, the little buggers.
Um, hope that answered anyway and thank you for caring and asking and stuff and hugs to you and all and I’ll stop typing now.
GP13
Sorry for the spelling/grammar mistakes but I have to go do more work now, damn it when did I turn into the person that works during their lunch?
Sorry to keep posting this stuff, it just helps to get it out…
Ignore if you want, or click the read more dohicky thing, but thank you for all the lovely messages you’ve sent me, they really have helped. :)
Hi,
I know I don’t often blog or reblog, but I know some people check to see re my fictions, so here is what the hell has been happening in my life since Friday, I’ve put in a read more and hopefully it will work. All under the cut was written at the hospital on ipad so screw the grammar and the spelling…
Seriously this is very TMI and personal, feel free to skim and ignore but I really needed to vent a bit:
Wow, that moment that someone fanarts your fanfiction, thank you, I hope you enjoyed the fiction :) *author flails about and squeals like a child*
The problem is I don’t have enough time to finish it :( If no one wants it I’ll get around to it may be… I’m glad you liked it though :)
